barry horowitz

After just reacting to requests & urgency in my work for ages I decided to sit down & (over several days) and write out the answers to a bunch of questions that I need to know. What do I like to do? What do I want to do? And I have to write this all by hand because, for whatever reason, when I write stuff down is when I do my best thinking.

Below is the list of questions I came up with, in case it helps other #adhd / #AuADHD folks. I’m also proud of myself that I came up with these questions WITHOUT DOING ANY RESEARCH. I’m prone to Gathering Info so I can make the best decisions not make mistakes or be wrong. This time I just trusted in myself, I’ve researched plenty, I know this stuff, and it doesn’t have to be perfect.

The Questions

What do I like to do?

What do I not like doing or don’t want to do?

What do I want to do?

What am I good at?

What am I bad at?

What do my clients like about me? (I emailed them to ask)

What motivates me?

What are my values?

What do I want to do for others? For my family?

What do I want to do for myself?

What do I need to do before I die?

What are the next steps to put these beliefs, ideas, and desires into action?

Arp Laszlo
Hi, I’m Arp! I got diagnosed with ADHD at 49, and now I'm trying to figure out what's me, what's masking, and just about everything else. I make comics (when imposter syndrome isn't striking) and write about life as a creative Indian-American. I’m self-taught, self-employed, and self-flagellating.

More Notes & Asides

One benefit of #thrifting is finding stuff I like that I would never have buying new since I don’t shop for clothes anymore. We found a pair of #LuckyBrand #pants in my size and I now have a favorite brand of pants. They’re straight leg, soft (kinda like brushed twill), stretchy (but don’t look like stretchy plastic), and so light and comfortable that it barely felt that I had pants on. Their only flaw is a lack of a dedicated celphone pocket, but I still want a few pairs for regular use. And since we were in the mall yesterday as our 18yo looked for places to apply for jobs, I noticed that straight leg & boot cut pants are back, and many have celphone pockets. I need to stock up on those for the next 25y before they go out of style again.

A little sailor shirt for our cat
We went #thrifting last week and I found this tots adorbs #sailor shirt for our boi Zuko. He ain’t gonna be too happy but he’s gonna look SO CUTE. And Grumpy. Which will still be CUTE. Also: testing my first share to #Pixelfed from #Wordpress 🤞🏽 #cat #cats #CaturdayEveryday #POSSE #IndieWeb

#TIL that #WordPress’ #Gutenberg block editor has built-in character & word counting abilities – just click on that little blue ℹ️ in a circle icon and voila. I needed to know this info as I’m testing crossposting here from #WP, & that toot should have posted in the time it took me to write this. Gutenberg has been around for over 4y & I managed to forget this existed (thx #adhd 🧠).

Every 10-14 days I have a night where I get 3-4h of #sleep. I wonder if it’s triggered by stress or what (I have an 8am doc appt and decent sleep was a must). Mostly I wish I could sleep through the night more consistently, this has gotta be an adhd thing.

cringe
Just writing this stresses me the f out 😖 I’m pushing myself far out of my comfort zone, to pursue something I’ve long wanted, that I think I can do well – but have been frozen by #anxiety, #ImposterSyndrome, & #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria. I’m gonna record myself singing for the #GreenDay Cover Project, deadline next Tuesday 3/15 at midnight.

Right now, I’m doing something I thought I’d never do in my life: drink decaffeinated #coffee. I learned quickly that #Vyvanse + coffee = Jitters From Hell so I’ve avoided coffee these 3 weeks. That royally messed up my morning routine, which included blending 30g of protein into my coffee, which prevents me from getting stupid hangry mid-morning and resorting to eating anything I can get my hands on. I’m glad to say it doesn’t taste like watered down coffee 😂 #ADHD #AuADHD

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