adhd brain not really

Sooooooo this year has been, um… what’s the opposite of whirlwind -quicksand? My mental state has been absolute crap this year. I had 2 incredible, brain fog free weeks after opening up to a therapist for the first time in December. Then it slowly crept back over the holiday break and came back full force in January.

That was when I learned that #brain-fog is a symptom of #depression. And I realized that all the years I thought I was not depressed I was actually depressed. I did a bang-up job of burying my emotions, how healthy 😆😭😆😭😆

The last 2 months have been crappy. I’m ridden with brain fog, generally unmotivated, and getting by with the bare minimum. And the country is an actively flushing toilet, with economic doom looming.

What a time to be alive. Or not.

I’m focused on chasing the dragon lack of brain fog, or Not Being Depressed. Because I’m depressed af, except I think I know what’s causing it. And resolving that is a monumental fucking task 😱😱😱

Arp Laszlo
Hi, I’m Arp! I got diagnosed with ADHD at 49, and now I'm trying to figure out what's me, what's masking, and just about everything else. I make comics (when imposter syndrome isn't striking) and write about life as a creative Indian-American. I’m self-taught, self-employed, and self-flagellating.

More Notes & Asides

Meme of Keenan Thompson pretending to be Steve Harvey hosting Family Feud, looking perturbed af. It looks like the show, with the questions & answers on screen. Title: My ADHD Question & Answers: How to have a conversation? A: interrupt them C: zone out B: trip over your words D: get really excited about the topic and freak them out
I need an option E: not saying anything because I can’t figure out when is the right time to speak 😆 #ADHD #ADHDAdult #ADHDMemes #Memes

esc2024
Time to catch up on the #Eurovision semis after a ridiculously busy week! Unlike last year I’ve only listened to each song once so the performances are going to be like new songs for me, except for #Croatia (the only melody that stayed in my head).

I could have finished my adhd blog last night (I just had to finish optimizing performance) but … I wasn’t totally thrilled with the colors and their use. Which led to a #rabbithole on UX (user experience), colors in websites & apps, and messing around with a plethora of color palette generators & tools (many of which were new to me and super cool). This prolly led to today’s insomnia as I hyperfocused & missed my melatonin window (at least that’s one theory I have for my shitty sleep).

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The Queen was not impressed by my recent #thriftshop find. #Cat #Cats #Felines #CaturdayEveryday #Caturday Also on: website

Some E-cards meme with a hand drawn graphic of a mustachioed office worker throwing some papers in the air with the words

ADHD
The energy to do anything.
The focus to accomplish nothing.
Too damn true 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

One of the hardest parts of being an #entrepreneur with #adhd is needing some positive feedback (aka #dopamine) to helo follow through on complex #projects. I can break things down into a zillion steps and chip away, but pouring everything in without getting anything back makes each subsequent step harder & harder. Any frustrations along the way dealing with things out of my control, like vendors & their ‘support’ just pushes me over the edge. #neurodivergent

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