Right now, I’m doing something I thought I’d never do in my life: drink decaffeinated #coffee.

I learned quickly that #Vyvanse + coffee = Jitters From Hell so I’ve avoided coffee these 3 weeks. That royally messed up my morning routine, which included blending 30g of protein into my coffee, which prevents me from getting stupid hangry mid-morning and resorting to eating anything I can get my hands on.

I’m glad to say it doesn’t taste like watered down coffee 😂

#ADHD #AuADHD

Arp Laszlo
Hi, I’m Arp! I got diagnosed with ADHD at 49, and now I'm trying to figure out what's me, what's masking, and just about everything else. I make comics (when imposter syndrome isn't striking) and write about life as a creative Indian-American. I’m self-taught, self-employed, and self-flagellating.

More Notes & Asides

If you’re wondering whether a #LowFat or #LowCarb #diet is better, wonder no more with these randomized control trials. I’ve gone hardcore #vegan and hardcore #paleo and only in the latter did weight just melt off within the first month with no exercise at all. It’s not coincidental that the obesity rate in the US shot up after a low fat diet was recommended in 1977. I’m currently researching a #keto diet for both longevity & mental health.

I met an old friend from college for the first time in over a decade last weekend, and it was good to see that some things don’t change, despite time & distance. Recently they invited me to join a group chat w/ other college acquaintances, which I declined because why would I willfully chat with people just because we went to the same school for a bit? My friend said that everyone else had given up and accepted their lot in life. Most are neurotypical and some judged me for not studying or being serious enough. Who wants to be surrounded by people who feel like that? 2 things I’ve learned about my #adhd: 1) I never run out of ideas so there’s always something keeping things interesting (the big problem is sorting through them), and 2) my persistence is fierce. I guess having a sketchy memory and being easily ...

#adhd #auadhd #therapy
Tomorrow is Day 28 on #Vyvanse, and it’s been a promising time. Not necessarily due to the Vyvanse, though it’s better than #Adderall, #Concerta, or #Strattera for me. Definitely smoother and more ‘in the background’ than other #adhd meds (if they even worked for me), with the only downside being not being able to tolerate much #caffeine while it’s active or I get far beyond jittery. More importantly, it’s been 15 days since I spoke to a new therapist, after a 10 day emotional rollercoaster that was kicked off by a song I hadn’t heard since childhood. I opened up to a therapist for the first time, after previously holding back the stuff I wanted to avoid with multiple therapists. But after the rollercoaster I was on, I just had to let it out. The day after this therapy session, 99% of my #brainfog disappeared, and my executive dysfunction vastly ...

Why is it that #dictation on my #iPad understands ‘fuck’ perfectly while #dictation on my #iPhone ducks it up every time? #Autocorrect #iOS #iPadOS #Siri #POSSE #RiddleMeThis

adhd brain not really
Sooooooo this year has been, um… what’s the opposite of whirlwind -quicksand? My mental state has been absolute crap this year. I had 2 incredible, brain fog free weeks after opening up to a therapist for the first time in December. Then it slowly crept back over the holiday break and came back full force in January. That was when I learned that #brain-fog is a symptom of #depression. And I realized that all the years I thought I was not depressed I was actually depressed. I did a bang-up job of burying my emotions, how healthy 😆😭😆😭😆 The last 2 months have been crappy. I’m ridden with brain fog, generally unmotivated, and getting by with the bare minimum. And the country is an actively flushing toilet, with economic doom looming. What a time to be alive. Or not. I’m focused on chasing the dragon lack of brain fog, or ...

I stopped taking #Adderall daily 3w ago because I wasn’t sure it was really making a big difference. I had skipped it unintentionally a couple of days in the month prior and didn’t notice, which is what got me thinking about stopping. Instead of the XR I now have the regular kind for use as needed, so I had one yesterday and was pretty productive and focused over the course of the afternoon. But I fucking woke up at 5:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep. The stuff is not going to be very useful if it fucks with my sleep and worsens my symptoms the following day 😑 #adhd

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